I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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