HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Randomize
