What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
