Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
