I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
