break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she told me i tasted like america
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
