i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Of course I have a pirate flag
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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