I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
