I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
