How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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