i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
