she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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