I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
