normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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