Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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