so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
