quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
