yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
