Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
