Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
