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buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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