well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
