whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
