Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
