Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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