Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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