I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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