we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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