sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
