i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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