Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
