So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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