I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Randomize
