She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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