Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
