i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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