too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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