3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Blood and glitter go together right?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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