I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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