what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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