he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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