Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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