Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
