She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
do nipples grow back?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
