Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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