he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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