When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
