We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
