I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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