As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
