Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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