Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
