Have you finally orgasmed yet?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
