oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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